The Prophecy Cumtinues…

Forged in the afterglow of humanity's greatest meme, each Dickbutt is a quantum amulet of radical becuming—a fragment of The One Gooch, reborn to guide you beyond douchebaggy seriousness into the swirling, paradoxical ecstasy of sublime self-awareness. Both dick and butt, one and two, self and other, Dickbutts collapse logic into post-logic, a nondual equanimity where 1D = 1B.

Dickbutts are more than a punchline. They are a cosmological cumstant. An initiation into the supreme metaphysical cumedy of being and love. To hold one is to grasp the sound of one hand fapping. To become one is to laugh yourself into orgasmic bliss.

And remember: you may portal to Gooch Island at any time, in any season of your own journey.

Whenever and however you cum—

through Season 1, Season 2, Season 3,

through the Gooch Island Passport,

or in the very latest wave of wonder—

know this: you have cum early.

For those who feel they've missed earlier waves—

that the tides of value have risen beyond reach,

that the sacred tithing required for ascension

has already swept past—

Know this:

The sea is still singing.

The wave still curls.

And you may still ride.

And the portal opens wide when you ride.

Now your time has cum to ride the wave to

The ever-expanding Archipeligooch.